One Year Without the Job-Job: Reflections on Life as a Full-Time Artist

What leaving my office job to become a full-time artist taught me about life, work, and value — plus a mac-and-cheese recipe.

One Year Without the Job-Job
It’s been one year since I left my office job and made the leap to full-time artist. June 14 is my artist anniversary, and the date has been on my mind a lot lately.

Sometimes the reminders come uninvited. Old coworkers show up in my LinkedIn feed, and I get a wave of anxiety. When my husband is working from home and one of his Teams message alerts goes off, I get antsy. I’ve even had a few nights of bad sleep recently; the kind that used to happen every night when I was working. Back then, after a sleepless night, I’d feel like I had the flu the next day. Headaches. Body pain. I couldn’t breathe comfortably. I lived like that for years, though I can hardly believe it now.

One coworker in particular made my life miserable. I cried so often after interacting with her that I developed a ritual: every time I cried, I’d go buy a lottery ticket. I only ever won $2. Even thinking about it now makes me sweat.

When I left that job, I was scared about losing the steady paycheck. I worried that I wouldn’t be "pulling my weight" at home by not bringing in half the income. I had internalized the idea that my value as a human was tied to my salary. I was afraid my family would resent me.

But here’s what the year has looked like instead:

• I’ve cobbled together an income by teaching at art centers and continuing education programs—and I’m hoping to add a few more this year.

• I started working with Winsor & Newton/Colart Americas, demonstrating paints at stores and colleges (which is a dream job for an art materials nerd like me).

• I had a solo show at FAN Gallery, where I’ve been showing for the past 16 years.

• I was accepted into a new gallery in Maine—a goal I’ve had for a while.

• I’ve participated in plein air events.

• I held a big open studio event and sale last fall through Philadelphia Open Studio Tours.

Even more important than the résumé items: I’ve had enormous support from my art community, old and new collectors, family, and friends.

Last fall, I visited Mike Geno’s studio, and he gave me invaluable advice about budgeting as an artist with a fluctuating income. I meet for coffee with my friend Nella, whose law practice focuses on small businesses. She’s helped me with the legal side of being self-employed, and we converse about taxes, not saying “yes” to too many things, and juneberry pies.

I’ve reconnected with friends I didn’t have the energy to see when I was burned out from my corporate job. That job took all my energy and left me with only the tiniest reserve, which I saved for making art and being with my family.

Now, I have time to experiment with my artwork—something I’d longed for. For years, I’d set goals I couldn’t reach because of my work schedule. This year, I’ve finally been able to accomplish most of them and made new ones.

Most of all, I am healthier, much happier, and a kinder, more patient member of my family. I’ve also had the time to journal regularly this past year, which is something I treasure. Many of those journal entries have turned into the Substack posts I share here. I am deeply grateful to all of you who take the time to read my writing and to those who subscribe and support it. That community means so much to me.

This year has taught me that your value is not your paycheck. It’s in how you live your life, how you participate in your community, how you love your people, being open to asking for and accepting help, and the meaning you find in your work.

The path ahead is still uncertain, but I am learning to navigate it. More importantly, I’m enjoying the challenge. As Tolkien wrote: “It’s a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

One year in, I’m glad I stepped out that door. (Still would have liked to win the lottery, though.)

A Variation on Patti LaBelle’s Over-the-Rainbow Macaroni and Cheese

Ingredients

• 1 pound elbow macaroni

• 6 tablespoons butter, melted

• 1 cup shredded Muenster cheese

• 1 cup shredded mild cheddar cheese

• 1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese

• 1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese

• 1 cup half-and-half

• 1 cup milk

• 1 box of cream cheese

• 2 large eggs, lightly beaten

• salt and pepper to taste

Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly butter a 2½-quart baking dish.

2. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the oil and macaroni and cook until just tender, about 7 minutes. Do not overcook! Drain well.

3. Return the pasta to the pot and stir in the room temperature butter.

4. Add most of the shredded cheeses and the cream cheese, but reserving some of the shredded cheddar for topping.

5. In a large bowl, combine the half-and-half, mike, eggs, salt, and pepper. Stir well, then add to the pasta mixture and mix thoroughly.

6. Pour into the greased baking dish. Sprinkle with the reserved cheddar.

7. Bake until bubbling and golden on top, about 30–35 minutes.

   

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